Dear Six Year Old Aiden,
I think you should know that there are times when I find the lessons you have to learn to be unfair. That growing up is sometimes much to hard, and big a task, for such a little guy. Times that I wish instead of us meeting head to head, that we could just always enjoy those moments of silly stories and laughter. But alas, that is not always the case. And as you get older, and stronger, and smarter, and even better than you already were (which is no small feat as you are already amazing), the lessons you learn will naturally get harder. The realist in me knows this is true. And I know that life lessons, as hard as they may be, are ones that are vital in you growing up to be a man. And mind you, not just any man, a good man. These lessons are things that will make you grow in ways you never knew you could, or even wanted to sometimes.
And so tonight, as I sit here writing, ever so glad that Christmas music and just "one more snuggle" has lulled you off to sleep, I am going to write about just a boy and his peacock...
You entertain me. I don't know if I convey that enough to you sometimes, but you should know it is constantly on my mind. The things you choose to love and want are nothing short of baffling sometimes. And not in a bad way. Your Christmas list this year included a frog. Yes, a real one. For the first time ever you sat on Santa's lap, just so you could tell him this. Before this moment you refused to "sit on a strangers lap." My goodness how you make me laugh. That awesome, crazy head of yours is truly something special kid.
So in our typical Christmas tradition we both made ornaments this year, and bought ornaments. Our shopping adventure took us all over, but we landed at a store that held an item of fascination to you - a peacock to display on a tree. Oh how you were overjoyed at this idea, even though I continued to make you look. And you were happy with the thought of this gold bird that would serve as your ornament for the year, that is until the red peacock was discovered...
To say this thing was large would be a vast understatement. To say is was sparkly, wouldn't do it justice. Oh this thing is extravagant in a really special way.
Eventually we discussed our ornaments for the year and you did not decide on either of these, but rather on a very cute snow owl - whom you promptly named "Snowy Legend Power." However as the weeks passed, you realized your love for the peacock was so great. So great in fact, you dreamed of it, and literally shed tears in your dreams for this bird.
Oh how my heart softened, and finally I caved. I purchased the yellow bird, as that is what you had told me you wanted when I asked. And when you finally got your long awaited bird your disappointment that this bird was not the fantastic bird you remembered, but that you had actually meant to ask for the red one, was disheartening. As was the aftermath of the fit you threw, and the hard lesson you had to learn about what it means to be grateful, as I made you return the bird, not to receive another.
There are very few times I feel I have had to teach such a hard lesson. Frankly, you seem to know more about life then most adults I know do. So this lesson in humility and gratefulness was hard, even for me, to swallow. My fears that this will forever remain in your brain as an awful memory hurt. That this silly bird would somehow outweigh all the good things we constantly have worried me. However, my fear that you are a person who feels entitled and ungrateful over-ruled all else. That is not the kind of person you are, nor is it the kind I am willing to let you be. You are far to excellent to be anything but the best you. Aiden Matthew, I am so honored to get to be your mother. So while I know tonight you have lamented the loss of your peacock, I hope the lesson stays. That you know I love you so much, that even now, at six, I am looking out for who you will become, as much as I am looking out for you right now. And that I will ensure you will always understand how to treat others, as I want you treated that greatly. I think you know this. And I love you ever so much.
-Mommy
